Five reasons to hate Plymouth Argyle

After doing Doncaster last week, we’re now going to par Plymouth in an attempt to create a fiercer atmosphere when Yeovil take on Argyle this Tuesday.

Of course, we’ll have to be careful this time due to the fact that gaffer Darren Way and Ryan Dickson are both Plymouth-born. Let’s make it clear that they are both excluded from any negative stereotypes and/or inbreeding jokes for the duration of this article.

*DISCLAIMER* This article is part of a tongue-in-cheek series where we come up with reasons to hate whoever our opposition are. If you’re a Plymouth fan and are offended, you are more than welcome, encouraged even, to offer a Yeovil-based response! Doncaster did a pretty good job last time.

1) Stadium frauds

When you see Home Park on the telly it looks brilliant. A connected, symmetrical, bowl-like arena with luxurious-looking green seating. It even looks nice from the outside.

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However, what the cameras don’t show is the old Grandstand, which looks as if it was abandoned several decades ago and should have been demolished years before that. It’s only redeeming quality is the terracing, which isn’t even used anymore.

So despite them desperately trying to hide it, you can only really describe 75% of Home Park as a good stadium, and the Devon supporters hardly ever manage to fill it anyway. Thank god Tuesday’s encounter will be taking place at Huish Park.

2) Green army frauds

By my count, Yeovil and Plymouth are the only clubs in England whose home strip features the colour green, leading to some confusion when the Glovers faithful hear “Green army” being chanted by the opposition.

It would be unfair to try and stop Argyle singing it, especially since us Yeovillians have tended to favour “Green and white army” since the addition of hoops to our kit, but let’s not pretend that Yeovil didn’t sing the song louder and prouder as a non-league team than the Pilgrims have ever managed.

And Argyle really should show use their brains. I mean, chanting “Green army” when Yeovil are at home? They might as well start singing Yeovil True and cheering when the Glovers score while they’re at it.

3) Twitter frauds

You only have to take a glance at Plymouth’s Twitter account to see what we’re getting at here. Even their own fans hate it with a passion.

Their bio claims that they are “unashamedly partisan”, but they really, really should be ashamed of some of the things they release into the Twitterspere.

Whether it’s an unpleasant barrage of dad jokes or post-match bitterness after a defeat to Wycombe, it’s hard to work out how they manage to be so consistently cringy in just 140 characters.

4) Ex-Glover frauds

Reuben Reid could only muster six goals from 25 appearances in league and cup as a Yeovil Town player, but like countless other strikers (Craig Davies, Gavin Massey, Jordy Hiwula et al.) he found form as soon as he left Somerset.

After a short-term loan spell towards the end of the 2012/13 campaign, Reid signed a temporary deal with the Pilgrims for the entire 2013/14 season. He scored 21 goals and won Argyle’s player of the season award while his parent club struggled in the Championship.

On the plus side, we won’t have to worry about him on Tuesday night since he moved to Exeter City at the beginning of this season. Then again, he didn’t really worry us when the Grecians visited Huish Park earlier this season anyway.

5) Postponement frauds

Last season, Town’s home game against Plymouth was postponed due to a waterlogged pitch. A normal fan would be a bit disappointed but move on quickly and start making arrangements for the re-arranged match, but not the Janners.

Some Pilgrims pillocks took to Twitter to whinge and moan, abusing the Yeovil groundsmen and even saying that they hope Darren Way’s men get relegated.

Did you hear us complaining when this season’s match had to be re-arranged due to Plymouth’s FA Cup commitments? No, of course you didn’t. In fact, I bet that the only reason Argyle wanted their third round tie with Liverpool was because of immature revenge for last season.

 

Having said all that, Plymouth Argyle do have some redeeming qualities. For example, they always bring a good amount of fans down to Huish Park, helping to create a decent atmosphere.

There was a mutual respect shown between the two teams when Yeovil decided to gift them a goal back in 2004. Lee Johnson had accidentally scored while attempting to return the ball to the Pilgrims ‘keeper, but both teams dealt with the situation sensibly and common sense prevailed. Take note, Birmingham.

And finally, who didn’t love that advert starring Paul Whitehouse? Come to think of it, if Plymouth did have a player called Dietmar Van Nostrilboy, I think I’d actually like them.

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